I too had fun with this one, thank you.
For what it's worth, here goes the 490 for you to chew on:

 Code:
function a($)
  Dim $b
  if $+0=$
    $b="no more",one,two,three,four,five,six,seven,eight,nine,ten,eleven,twelve,thir,four,fif,six,seven,eigh,nine,twen,thir,"for"
    if $<20
      $a=$b[$] + iif($>12,teen,@)
    else
      $a= $b[18+$/10-($>49)*8] + ty + iif($ mod 10,"-" + $b[$ mod 10],@)
    endif     
    $a = $a + ' bottle' + left(s,$^1) + ' of beer'  
  else  
    $ = 1 * $
    $b = ' on the wall'
    $a = chr(asc(a($))-32) + Right(a($), ~) + $b + ', ' + a($) + ". "
    If $
      $a = $a + 'Take one down and pass it around, ' + a($-1) + $b + "."
    Else
      $a = $a + 'Go to the store and buy some more, ' + a(99) + $b + "."
endfunction
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