Eh, Super COM Boy... are you going to throw me a hint... or do you take pleasure in my flailing?

Using JavaScript, I'd do something like the following between script tags:
Offsite=window.open("http://intranet.ff.abicon.com",
"Offsite","toolbar=0,location=0,status=1,menubar=0,scrollbars=1,resizable=0,width=900,height=580");window.focus();
(Not sure how much of this code UBB will allow but will try)

So, can the same be done with COM?

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Give a man a fish and he will be back for more. Slap him with a fish and he will go away forever.