Well here's a start to a "Anti-EnableDHCP" UDF... its been tested some... but please test before using on production boxes.

Your silver platter code sir...

Examples:
? setstaticipoptions("IPAddress","192.168.0.101,255.255.255.0")
? setstaticipoptions("DefaultGW","192.168.0.1")
? setstaticipoptions("WINSServers","192.168.0.10,192.168.0.11")
? setstaticipoptions("DNSServers","192.168.0.10,192.168.0.11")
? setstaticipoptions("DNSDomain","MyDomain2.Com")

Code:
 
function SetStaticIPOptions($Setting,$Value,optional $remotepc)
dim $objWMIService, $colitems, $objnetadapter,$,$IP[0],$SM[0],$WS1,$WS2
$SetStaticIPOptions=1
if $remotepc=""
$remotepc="."
endif
$objWMIService = GetObject("winmgmts:\\" + $remotepc + "\root\cimv2")
if @error
exit @error
endif
$colItems = $objWMIService.ExecQuery("Select * from Win32_NetworkAdapterConfiguration where IPEnabled=-1")
For Each $objNetAdapter In $colItems
Select
case $setting="DNSServers"
$=$objNetAdapter.SetDNSServerSearchOrder(split($value,","))
if @error
exit @error
else
$SetStaticIPOptions=0
endif
case $setting="WINSServers"
$WS1=split($value,",")[0]
if ubound(split($value,","))>0
$WS2=split($value,",")[1]
else
$WS2=""
endif
$=$objNetAdapter.SetWINSServer($WS1,$WS2)
if @error
exit @error
else
$SetStaticIPOptions=0
endif
case $setting="DNSDomain"
$=$objNetAdapter.SetDNSDomain($value)
if @error
exit @error
else
$SetStaticIPOptions=0
endif
case $setting="DefaultGW"
$=$objNetAdapter.SetGateways(split($value,","))
if @error
exit @error
else
$SetStaticIPOptions=0
endif
case $setting="IPAddress"
if instr($value,",")>0
$IP[0]=split($Value,",")[0]
$SM[0]=split($value,",")[1]
$=$objNetAdapter.EnableStatic($IP, $SM)
if @error
exit @error
else
$SetStaticIPOptions=0
endif
endif
endselect
Next
endfunction