As there was a little confusion over the rules, I don't think this helper is out of order...

There is a way of getting around the requirement for having a single function without adding too much to your code, providing you don't need more than two parameters:
code:
Function Moan($a,$b,$c)
   Select
   Case $a="!1"
      ; Code from first external function
      Exit 0
   Case $a="!2"
      ; Code from second external function
      Exit 0
   EndSelect
...
; Normal MOAN code
;  Call first "external" function
   $x=Moan("!1",$y,"")
; More Moan code
;  Call second "external" function
   $u=Moan("!2",$v,$w)
EndFunction
If you only have a single external function then a simple If/EndIf will suffice.