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I agree, I would not touch Office 365 with a barge pole for the exact reasons that you mention - loss of control and you still spending pretty much the same amount of money anyway.
I think to answer your question you need to provide us with details. How many users in the organisation, will they access only email and one shared calendar etc etc? In other words what are your organisations requirements.
Most people turn their nose up at Thunderbird but I have to be honest as a mail client it has served me very well for years and I have the ability to VIEW AND EDIT my online calendar within thunderbird. I will be honest and say I have never like Outlook as it is overly complicated for most people's needs.
Why don't you look into Thunderbird as the mail client, an online webcalendar program to put on each client's website and then ask around for a linux solution for a mail server. I am a big fan of Microsoft in terms of Microsoft Windows Servers and Windows 7 Pro clients, but I see no value in Microsoft in the exchange/outlook scenario as it does not provide value for money. Linux is what they had in mind for things like mail servers, websites, proxy servers, caching servers etc. I use Slackware as my preferred Linux distro, but you may find something more standard like Redhat that would suit you. In short, it might pay you to build a solution that works for you. You may have to integrate different technologies to achieve your desired result but it could end up being very worthwhile.
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